How Not to Care Too Much About What People Think

No one enjoys being judged by others.

Yet, we realize that this may be unavoidable.

As such, it would be preferable not to care too much when it happens.

Of course, sometimes we anticipate the judgments of others because we privately know that we are off track in life.

If you realize that you are not living according to your own values about what is important in your life, then the most valid judge – your own conscience – has already weighed in.

Even when you think that you are on your path or at least back on track, you may still worry about what other people think.

Here is what you need to know about what people think: although everybody is a bit of a mix, there are essentially two types of people watching you.

Some of them are predominantly kindhearted and others are predominantly mean-spirited.

Each group is forming very different judgments about you.

First, they have contrasting reactions to your victories and struggles.

When events seem to be going well for you, the kindhearted people are warmly saying to themselves or others something like, “That’s wonderful. It’s great to see it when people get the good results that they deserve.”

The mean-spirited people are sarcastically saying to themselves or others something like, “It must be nice to get so much more than you deserve!”

When events seem to be going wrong for you, the mean-spirited people are saying, “Good. S/he’s finally getting what s/he has coming!”

The kindhearted people are saying, “That’s not right. S/he deserves better than that.”

Then, the two groups have contrasting reactions to your lifestyle, whatever it is.

Kindhearted people tend to be charitable in their assessments, giving you the benefit of the doubt, and being open to learning new things from other people.

Mean-spirited people are thinking that, if you are different from them, you are weird, and/or stupid, and/or troublesome.

Now you know what they think.

Next, you have to decide which group you are going to care about, and which group of people are going to have the opinions that matter to you.


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This entry was posted on Friday, June 21st, 2013 at 1:09 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “How Not to Care Too Much About What People Think”

  1. Cheryl Tassmer Says:

    Hi Dr Blum

    Good article. Sometimes I don’t know which hurts more — not being liked/accepted or just the fact of how much the meanness itself can hurt.

  2. Dr. Rick Blum Says:

    Good point — this post is mostly about what goes on out of earshot. An entirely different challenge is that of dealing with overt hostility. Perhaps this should be a future post! Thanks.

  3. evelyn Says:

    Great topic. Thanks for posting, Rick

  4. Dr. Rick Blum Says:

    Thanks for the comment!

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