
Adult
ADD Career Alternatives
--the
Psychological Factors for Success
Special Report:
By
Dr. Rick Blum
This
report is organized into five parts:
I.
Why we're here - how come 5 percent of the
population thinks differently than the rest
II.
Adding Insult to Injury - the diagnosis trap
III.
The major challenge - boredom and why it
hurts us so much
IV.
The Personality Challenge - coachability
V. Improving
Concentration
Part
I: Why We're Here
If
you include all the versions of ADD ("Attention
Deficit Disorder"), the category
includes about one out of every twenty
people, or 5 percent of the population. This
is interesting, because unhealthy variations
are almost always less than 2 percent of the
population.
When
there are so many people in a minority, it
has a purpose. Consider sickle-cell anemia, a
curvature of red blood cells and certainly a
serious challenge to afflicted Africans,
again over five percent. So, why so many? It
is better to be tired and anemic than to get
malaria, especially in the days before modern
medications. Since sickle-celled people do
not get malaria, the affliction had a purpose.
So,
what's our purpose? As a group, we are useful
to have in the world because we tend to be
creative. We are divergent thinkers, with
imaginations that cannot help fanning out in
many directions. So, "attention deficit
disorder" should be called "Attention
Divergence Difficulty." This contrasts
with convergent thinkers, who most of are
much better at linear thinking, more task
oriented, and less annoying. Yes, we
sometimes annoy people, because divergent
thinkers come up with new ideas without end,
when most others would rather be left to go
in their current direction. The multiplicity
in our minds makes us distractible to a point
that drives others to distraction. We also
can look irresponsible because we cannot
stand routine, boring tasks; but more about
that later.
Ever
hear the bean counter story? If you have,
skip this paragraph. Otherwise, imagine we
all live in a small town in rural Iowa. (I'm
not picking on Iowa. I lived there for
awhile, and things grow well in Iowa.) The
closest town is several miles down the road,
and what they do there is grow soybeans. All
we do in our town is count the beans they
grow. There are only 100 of us, and we all
work in the bean counting factory. Well, no
one likes it much, but 95 of us do okay with
it. Meanwhile, the other five of us go stir
crazy. Of these five, three run away
impulsively and are never heard from again.
Another one of the five is now in jail
because he flipped out and punched the bean-counter
supervisor. As for the last of the five,
well, that person has just invented a much
better way to count beans. That's why we are
different. We think outside narrow categories
(the "nine dots") whether we want
to or not.
So,
being a divergent thinker gives us attention
divergence difficulties, and challenges us in
completing school or finding a career. Most
of us would rather be the last one of the
five, the one who succeeds, if we have a
choice in the matter. That is what the rest
of this report is devoted to.
There
are three central challenges to ADD success:
being misunderstood, intolerance for boredom,
and defensiveness. In the sections to come we
will meet each of these challenges. Then,
we'll finish with a case example of a career
alternative.
Part
II: Adding Insult to Injury
Look
at the traits used to diagnose clinical ADD (in
the DSM-IV), officially six of the following:
-
poor attention to details and careless errors
-
wandering attention in activities
-
being a poor listener, even one-on-one
-
poor follow-through on responsibilities
-
disorganized in tasks
-
avoids tasks that would require sustained
mental effort
-
loses things often
-
often distracted by unimportant stimuli
-
forgetful
In
the last section, I pointed out that we are
divergent thinkers, that our minds insist on
producing an array of directions at once.
Further, I noted how we are useful, which is
why there are so many of us. But, do you see
unusual creativity in the above list? How
about fascinating company? No? Well, what
about enthusiasm and fervor? Uh-uh. In fact,
when we've got too much of that enthusiastic
energy, it's time to move us onto the "hyperactivity-impulsivity"
list.
Now,
to be fair, the diagnostic manual seldom
speaks of positive traits about any
condition, since it analyzes disorders, which
are the troubles people get into by being
different. So, ADD is not unfairly singled
out. However, my guess is that you were not
raised by one of the doctors who wrote the
diagnostic book, so you may have received
further labels.
How
about "lazy?" Does "stupid"
ring a bell? Of course, "irresponsible"
goes without saying. My teachers said I was
too "talkative" in class. To me, it
was emotional survival. So, let's take apart
these labels. Does my calling you "lazy"
mean that you do nothing? Nope, it means that
you are not doing what I want you to do, and
I want you to feel bad about it. Does my
calling you "stupid" mean that you
learn nothing and pay attention to nothing?
No, it means that you are not attending to
learning what I want you to learn, and I want
you to feel bad about it. "Irresponsible"
means that you get distracted and I want you
to feel bad about that.
In
these ways, "Attention Divergence
Difficulty" folks get misunderstood.
This adds insult to the injury of the
challenges that we would already face. After
all, we do many of the things on that list at
the beginning of this section. We struggle
with all that and more. Boredom drives us to
distraction, literally. In the next section
we'll see why -- but you already know how it
feels. It is literally painful, kind of like
being tickled in the brain, only you cannot
even laugh to discharge the frustration.
We
know what it is like to miss the point of a
conversation because we cannot focus on it.
We know the embarrassment of not completing
what seems like the easiest part of a task.
We struggle to organize the most trivial
parts of life. These challenges need work for
any of us, and we would do so, but we are too
busy with those labels.
The
insult of lazy-irresponsible-stupid, on top
of the injury of being different, distracts
our already distractible minds away from
using our extensive creativity to solve these
challenges. Then, when the stakes get high,
when it is time to choose a career, all the
confusion multiplies.
So,
we must meet this first challenge. Redefine
yourself. You are a divergent thinker. It is
not easy, but very few of us, even if we had
a button that could transform us into
convergent thinkers, would press it. Once you
saw the whole package, would you give up your
unique imagination, the great company of the
show inside your head, your ability to turn
conventional reality upside down? Yes, we
must master our boredom challenge and our
defensiveness, but the first step is knowing
who we are, that we have a gift.
That
gift is not always easy, but it's always
interesting. We can transform it into a
talent. We can temper it into an exciting
career. The journey continues in the next
section on meeting the challenge of boredom.
Part
III: The Major Challenge -- Boredom
I
pointed out in the previous section that
boredom is literally painful for us. Just
sitting in a classroom can be a nearly
unendurable torment for attention-divergent
kids. As adults, we feel the same way in
college classes and office meetings. Ever
notice that you are the only person in a
meeting of adults who is fidgeting in your
seat or daydreaming? Of course, no one likes
boredom, so calling it painful might sound a
bit like whining. In fact, people without the
condition might think I am overstating the
problem.
This
is no exaggeration, however. The explanation
of our boredom reaction involves the nature
of divergent attention. Rather than "attention
divergence difficulties" causing
inattention, they cause either diffuse
attention or hyper-focus. In other words, we
either attend to several items at once, or we
become absorbed fully in one. We love the
latter state, since it is such a relief to us.
When we become engrossed in activity, whether
the computer, reading, or sports, we feel
exhilarated and don't want it to end. In
fact, we can be rather irritable when
interrupted during hyper-focus. The startle
out of this type of engrossed attention is a
jarring experience for us.
What
does this have to do with boredom? Well,
adult ADD means that your awareness is not
particularly limber. You don't have full
control over where it goes and how it divides.
You are either flitting from item to item or
absorbed in concentration. This is a problem
during routine, boring tasks. Other people
are better at paying partial attention. They
could sit in class, as kids, think about some
afternoon activity, while keeping half an eye
on a boring lesson. When called upon, they
could return their full attention and respond.
You and I, on the other hand, were hyper-focused
in reverie when we were called upon. We did
not need to pay the consequences of that
embarrassment many times before we learned
the cost. We must either pay full attention
or almost none at all. Those of us afraid to
offer none at all were forced into the drip-drip-drip
torment of the slow flow of uninspiring
information presented by an unenthusiastic
teacher. So, we learned early to hate boredom.
This
does not change. Our adult attention is not
much more limber than it was as a child.
Routine tasks (and boring parts of
interesting tasks) present the same torment
over and over again. Unfortunately, no career
can be mastered, no credential can be won,
and no business can be built without some
very boring aspects. So, we must meet this
challenge head on.
Method
number one: small chunks. If we break a
boring task into little pieces, sometimes
very little pieces, it gets done. This is
especially effective when you intersperse the
boring activity with some activity that is
interesting, but somewhat self-limiting. For
example, if you intersperse 30 minutes of
studying with 15 minutes of watching a video,
then it is better to make it a network show
with commercials. This will naturally help
you not hyperfocus for too long on the video.
Method
number two: play games. Make a game somehow
out of the boring task. For example, time
yourself and keep trying to improve your time.
Or, invent a system to do the task so that
you can ultimately learn to put the activity
on automatic and not think about it. Or,
learn to use a meditation-in-motion technique
like "mindfulness."
Method
three: drugs. Take a whole day (not more than
once a week) to get all the boring tasks that
await you done. People who do this describe
it as "getting on a roll." Use a
legal drug like caffeine (unless you are
addicted and unaffected by it) or Ritalin, if
it has been prescribed for you. Make
ABSOLUTELY certain that you are in perfect
cardiovascular health before you try this
method, or it will worsen your physical
symptoms. Do not use any combination remedies
or overdosages. For example, people have been
hurt with Ephedra by using preparations from
irresponsible companies that combined
unstandardized dosages with caffeine.
Method
four: social facilitation. Pair off with
someone, especially someone like you. Having
people around makes activities more
interesting if these are people that are not
usually around. People that live with us,
like spouses and roommates, become part of
the background, unfortunately. So, they are
not candidates for this method. Use this to
get the boring tasks out of the way.
Experiment to see what works for you. Does
the other person need to be paying attention
to what you are doing, or can both of you be
getting things done at the same time? If it
is the former, you may trade time, so that
you both benefit from the social facilitation.
If
you practice any of these methods, it will
improve your follow- through. This is one of
the crucial factors in career success,
especially for those of us with attention
divergence difficulties. Follow-through is
the willingness to do what you say you're
going to do. When you pick a career, you
believe it has benefits or else you would not
choose it. Perhaps many people would like
such benefits. On the other hand, how many
people are willing actually to do something
to achieve these benefits? Let's say you went
into sales, or wanted to market yourself as
some form of consultant, or perhaps started
your own home based business. Any of these
can be exciting for someone with adult ADD
because of the freedom combined with a good
income. But, you cannot expect to feel
excited and motivated every day. Nonetheless,
with the above methods, you can do the
correct, success-generating activities, once
you learn them. This creates a positive
spiral where the correct activities bring
success, which in turn creates excitement and
motivation. Learning the trait of follow-through
is thus essential for anyone. And, for us,
learning to deal with boredom allows follow-through.
In
the next section, we will deal with the final
major challenge we face, which is the
defensiveness that prevents our being
effectively coached.
Part
IV: The Personality Challenge -- Coachability
In
my career as a psychologist, I have met some
financially successful people. Several of
them began with no special financial
advantages. Most of them had few advantages
as kids, and sometimes they came from very
unsupportive homes. But they built impressive
career success. I appreciated that about this
handful of people, but I paid little
attention to it since people come to me to
discuss that which does not work in their
lives. No one makes an appointment with me to
work on his or her surprising economic
success. Since I hyperfocus on their areas of
challenge, I only peripherally noticed that
they each had something fascinating in common.
The
first time I worked with one of these people,
I wondered how the session would go. After
all, I was meeting him in duress, and he was
accustomed to being a master of his universe.
I knew this because of his public
accomplishments. I needn't have worried. He
was completely open to me, and once he saw
that I had skill in my field, openly craved
my input. This was a relief, but I have good
relationships with almost all of my clients,
so I thought about it no further. The second
person had extraordinary wealth, even by
wealthy standards. So, once again, I wondered
whether he would use this as a barrier to
working with a decidedly non-wealthy
therapist. Again, it was no issue. His
nickname for me was "coach." The
third such person had built a very successful
company single-handedly. When I noted with
delight that he had the same receptivity, I
finally saw the pattern.
These
were all men, you'll note. Men are not the
most likely gender to admit confusion and
allow someone else to be the expert. These
men were the most lacking in defensiveness of
any male clients I had ever met. A friend of
one of them once shared how he had leaned to
become so successful. Without prompting from
me, she confirmed what I now suspected. He
had shown the same wide-open receptivity, the
same "coachability" in finding
mentors who could show him how to make money.
In
fact, these are the two main factors in
success. One must develop follow-through, as
we discussed in the previous section, and one
must learn to lose ones defensiveness.
However, like the first challenge, overcoming
defensiveness is easier said then done for
attention-divergence-difficulty folks.
Remember
all those names we are accustomed to being
called? That stupid-lazy-irresponsible label
is a deadly triad when it comes to staying
open to coaching. We are certain that "they"
are wrong about their negative judgments
about us, and so they are. In order to
succeed, however, we have to become just as
clear about the areas where we have a lot to
learn.
For
instance, I never needed to learn how to talk
to groups. The first time I stood and gave a
report in elementary school, I loved the
attention and the class thought I was funny.
Score one for me. On the other hand, I did
not know how to change rigid patterns of
behavior, and when dealing with people one-on-one,
I often became tense. I wouldn't have made
much of a psychotherapist. Well, this is
exactly what I eventually decided I wanted to
be. While I could be arrogant about a lot of
things back then, I knew better than to fool
myself about this. So, when I found the right
mentor for me, Tom Sargent, I was as
responsive to his coaching as the above group
was to their mentors in business. Once I
developed expertise, I recognized it and
then, with Tom's blessing and encouragement,
I grew my own style. But, I began by "doing"
Tom, pure and simple. That is what
coachability is. You first attempt to
completely duplicate your coach, and only
later do you put your personal brand on it,
maybe improving on the original learning.
So,
this part takes an attitude change. Become
like my wealthy clients. After you choose an
area to learn, find a teacher or teachers.
Feel worthy of their attention, since you are
not stupid- lazy-irresponsible, but unusually
creative and intense. Know what you don't
know, and let someone else know what you
don't know.
Part V:
Improving Concentration
The previous sections are a good start
to improve focus for getting things done and developing the
traits for success. People with attention divergence
difficulties also have problems in solving their problems,
that is, thinking through things. In this last section, I
have specific steps to help mental focus and to help problem
solving:
1. Pick one subject at a time to work
on. This is essential and can be
accomplished with practice. To start,
you can write down all the other
problem areas nagging at you so that
you can focus on one without fearing
that you will forget about the rest.
2. Look
at what's good, or at least less bad than it could be, in
the
situation. This helps reduce distress
and thus improves concentration.
3. Look
at what's missing, incomplete or distressing about the
situation.
Ask yourself what could go wrong, or
could go more wrong?
4. Make it concrete: take the previous
step and make it as specific as you
can. In other words, describe what is
missing or the worst that could
happen in words that make pictures and
sounds, like a script. Describe it
like you are explaining a video-tape
to someone over the phone.
5. Correct the picture: now make the
script the what you would prefer it
to be.
6. come up with a single step: ask
what next act would move things toward
that desirable end and when you would
like to do it.
This ends the special report. Hope
you found it helpful.
Dr.Rick