A Life of Pleasure – A Life of Joy

There seem to be two distinct varieties of happiness. I am calling one of these “pleasure” and the other “joy.” Taking brings pleasure and giving brings joy. How can one tell the difference between these two feelings? Pleasure is sweet and ephemeral, dissolving into the next moment’s events. Joy is profound and enduring, supplying a […]

How Not to Care Too Much About What People Think

No one enjoys being judged by others. Yet, we realize that this may be unavoidable. As such, it would be preferable not to care too much when it happens. Of course, sometimes we anticipate the judgments of others because we privately know that we are off track in life. If you realize that you are […]

Tough Freedom

Most of us have heard of “tough love.”  Did you ever hear of “tough freedom?” Weak love consists of doing what other people want you to do right now, even if it hurts them later. Tough love is the power to resist this, while offering plenty of support in ways that are actually helpful. If […]

Let the Sun Shine Out!

Let the sun shine out! Your  best moments aren’t just good moods. They  aren’t just flukes. Your best moments are  times when you are who you really are  when you clear away what gets in the way. To help understand this concept, think of the following analogy: clouds can sometimes  thoroughly block the sun. They […]

Looking Down on Other People: Another View

Most of us have a hard time staying tolerant of others and wish we could be a bit less judgmental. I am not referring here to our opinions of those who are actively cruel to other people. Instead, I mean the ways  we judge people who seem to afflict us, though they are not directly […]

Do You Want a Job?

Do you want a job? Most of us know someone (or  are someone) who is either unemployed or underemployed. In a previous page, I wrote about how to prepare for an important interview. Those suggestions, of course, assume that we have already found a prospect for an appealing job. While internet sites are certainly a  […]

You Get What You Settle For

Whether in a relationship, or in a career, or in developing yourself as a person, here is a guideline to keep in mind: You usually will not achieve more than you would settle for. It works this way because, when you find what you will settle for, you stop looking. Just as you always find […]

Do You Have an Inner Jeer-leader?

Would you like a quick readout on what you gathered from your treatment by others when you were growing up? The sum and balance of all the childhood messages you received is revealed by their results in your automatic self-talk: Some of us have an inner-cheerleader and others have an inner-jeer-leader. The past is otherwise […]

What’s the Benefit of the Doubt?

[A shorter version of the post below just became my Facebook page’s most popular post.  I hope you enjoy it.] If you can and when you can, give other people the benefit of the doubt. Everybody you know has the same condition, the human condition. This means that, at best, they all wrestle with life. […]

How Can You Help a Friend?

The difference between a friendly acquaintance and an actual friend is that, in an actual friendship, you both stand ready to help the other. Sometimes the help is physical, as in “Please, take me to the medical procedure.” Other times it is emotional, as in “Please, listen to me as I describe my broken heart.” […]