. . . What can you do when you understand someone's problems, but they are just not interested.  I thought my boyfriend would get excited about the information you emailed to me, but I was wrong.  Now I'm just frustrated, and I'm afraid I'll just make the situation worse. . . ."

Yours is a common dilemma. We learn some information that could be crucial to the life of someone we love. We can imagine the possible benefits to this person once we share this information, and we can picture what we would so usefully do with such an insight, if someone were to bring it to us. So, we hopefully offer the lesson to this person and immediately get blasted out of the water. We learn that we have overstepped some boundary that we are forbidden to cross. This is heartbreaking and unfair, since we were only trying to help. At the same time, we recognize that we have learned something about ourselves. You see, this person expects to be loved just as he or she is. They were the same way when we found them, and we chose them that way. This leads to my advice:

First, back off  diagnosing his problems, just for the time being. Take the next month to convey, without belaboring the point, that you love him as he is. This can be in the form of affection or words of appreciation or thoughtfulness, whichever you know from experience to work.

Step two: after a full month of this, not before, continue your own education about the concern. You can read about it, download files from the internet, or attend support groups -- your choice. But, do not say one word to him about this. Let his curiosity  drive his questioning you. And, when he does, don't start a lecture. Answer minimally, allowing the curiosity to come all from him.

This is your best shot. If it does not help, then you must ask a larger question, which is whether the two of you have drifted apart to the degree that he would not notice what you are doing. If so, write me back, since that's a whole other story.

"Boy, did you hit it right!  

Your prediction has come true. Before I got your reply, he drifted completely away from me.  And, he acted like I was the only person in his life who could not accept him....on his terms, not just "the way I found him".   Tired of being rejected, I finally told him not to call me.  He believes I will calm down (his words via email). I will never understand  this: how can someone so selfish and so needy be so afraid of being loved?  I did not ask him to change his personality, only to improve the behavior traits he could (like constant swearing that kind of thing).  I accepted him  and all of his baggage and offered love.  So, I believe it is too much for him. "

This is not a way to manipulate him.  Rather, it prevents your making the situation worse.   The emotionally natural response is the opposite:  to try to change him when he avoids interaction, and then to punish him for hurting you when he approaches you once again.   

This takes practice! But, if you learn it, you may find that it gives the two of you a second opportunity, and then you could get the help to move past the communication problems a create a solid basis so that you would not have to do this dance at all.