How to Turn Losses into Gains

Everyone has wins and losses. Losing does not render one a loser, because having such losses is inevitable. In this way, it is not one of our choices to avoid it. Instead, we will choose whether to learn from our losses or not. Consequently, in the context of losses, we will be choosing whether to […]

Three Ways that We Understand Life Better at the Movies

If you enjoy watching films, you can use the experience to achieve more wisdom in how you approach your life. We understand life better when we watch a movie. First we understand the importance of the challenging mix of life within the motion picture, that the difficulties, struggles and even suffering all determine the meaning […]

Accept and Except

Do you think that thinking about the past is a waste of time, or perhaps that it is self-indulgent? I often hear, as you may have, that “dwelling on the past” is a way of avoiding responsibility for the present. Like many other examples of “pendulemia” avoiding versus dwelling on the past is a false […]

One of the Most Useful 10 Minutes You’ll Ever Spend

This blog expands a bit on a recent Facebook post that I think you’ll enjoy. It consists of an exercise in reflection, which usually brings  people to a new, useful, and enjoyable perspective. Please go through the following steps one at a time, moving onto the next step only once you are fully satisfied with […]

Refusing Confusion

Are you ever confused? Confusion is a kind of psychological paralysis that produces an inability to make decisions and act on them. It has at least three varieties. Sometimes people feel confused because they lack essential information. If we try to make a decision without adequate knowledge of a situation and our options, we will […]

Every Day Can Truly Be a Good One

What do you say when people ask how you are? More important, what’s the actual answer? Finally, what would you like the answer to be? You can direct your life so that most days are truly good ones. Since your days are your most precious possessions, this would be a nice direction to take. It […]

Getting What You Deserve

[This weeks blog is the same as my most recent Facebook post.  Though it is short, it has become so popular that I couldn’t resist repeating it here.]   When life is painful, especially when this pain persists, people start to think that they somehow are unworthy of better circumstances. If there can be any […]

The Meaning of Life, Part Two

Do the events in your life have meaning, or are they random? Some people believe that there are no coincidences, that everything happens for a reason, whether or not that reason is apparent.  This leads them to the life-changing conclusion that everything happens for the best. Other people consider this belief to be wishful thinking […]

Personal Change Strategies: the State of the Art

The two most potent forms of psychotherapeutic intervention each make some level of transformation available, though each is more helpful in the presence of the other. Mindfulness strategies achieve detachment from cognitive experience, especially distressing thoughts.  Its pitfalls include the requirement of extensive meditation practice and a passive approach to cognitive restructuring. CBT (Cognitive-Behavior Therapy) […]

How to Have a Meaningful Life

In the last post, I suggested that the most  important goals people have can actually be achieved, but just not in the way that people usually seek them. If we aim to produce a certain state of consciousness (or  unconsciousness, when it comes  to falling asleep), we find it unattainable.  Instead, most desirable states are […]